I see the disease pushing it's way into the front of our lives again.....I see it lurking, dark and building strength like a water spout over the ocean...
He isn't reading, he isn't going to meetings, he isn't talking to me.......I am afraid
It's was going so well.....It is always that part that traps me. No one I know ever has the faith that he will stay sober. I always set myself up to fail. I need to be strong. I am better than this disease. This disease is NOT HIM! But I am married to both of them.......
He has not had a drink yet.....but I see it......I feel it......I hear it
4 comments:
Oh no. I am so sorry. I have been exactly where you are. The meetings stopped, the reading stopped, and the communicating stopped. The way you described it is exactly how it feels and we know the signs better than anyone, even the addict themselves. I am thinking of you. I really hope this is not the case. If it is though you will make it. It will be hard, but you will make it. Love and hugs from me to you.
It says in the Big Book...the insanity returns and THEN we drink. If he has stopped going to meetings, I can almost bet he is thinking about drinking. The only thing you can do is PRAY for him, and then get busy and out of his way. Find more meetings and take care of yourself. You are not alone in this. God bless.
I hope that it won't happen. I just try to go one day at a time and not have expectations of good or bad. It is what it is and I have the tools to help me deal with what comes my way. Take care of yourself.
I know how this fear feels - letting go of his stuff is all I could do - I had to focus on me and what I could manage to take care of.
I hope he continues on the right path and I hope you can manage to hold onto hope!
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