Is "trust" the same thing as "faith"?
I think "trusting" sometimes sets us up to fail. Trust has a difficult time living up to expectations. Trust is something that is broken in an alcoholic home frequently.
"Faith" may be a better way for me look at things, a better way to turn things over to a Higher Power. Faith is a type of "neutral". If I'm let down, I'm not destroyed, I just need to realize that it isn't my time to have this problem fixed just yet.
In the morning before anyone is up I have a cup of coffee outside and read: Al-Anon's ODAT, Courage to Change, Hope for Today......and Melody Beattie's The Language of Letting Go.....Sometimes I say a prayer...This helps me start my day.
Today's reading in Hope for today gave me some inspiration for my post....
Hope for Today:
........I've found that I can surrender my control and my will endlessly, but surrender is meaningless unless I follow through with action based on "faith". When I forget about the "faith" part, I take back my worries over and over again........
..................................................................
I have trust issues with my husband when it comes to alcohol or drunken binges. In the past couple of years, lying was a staple in his life. Especially when he was traveling.
Yesterday was his 23rd day of sobriety. He left yesterday morning to go to California for work. He told me he would call me when he got there and he didn't. Usually when I don't hear from him, he's already drunk.....(that's why he fly's first class!) I didn't want to call him because my motive was to check up on him. But of course, I waited until mid afternoon, but did call him. Everything was fine. He then called me around 10ish and he was with people from work (the same people he always got drunk with) and was still sober. He commented on how he hates being with "drunk" people and it can be exhausting! Really???? - Was my comment!!
He mentioned that his friend in California tried to sneak him a vodka, and his other friend was ribbing him about his AA stuff.....I told him that I thought his friends would try to sabatoge him.....he said he expected this....
This is where I need to have "faith". I need to give this over to God. Trust has never worked for me in this situation......I have no control over his sobriety. The only control I have is over my recovery and my strength and courage to know that
"I CANNOT LIVE WITH ALCOHOL IN MY LIFE ANYMORE!!"
I love this man I married. I could be married to him my entire life. The drunk is not my husband. The drunk is vial. I'm keeping my perspective as simple as I can: Don't Drink - Have us, Drink - Lose us!!
5 comments:
I know how hard it is not to call when you want to know what is going on - I used to do this all the time - especially so early on in his sobriety... it was before I found out about al anon...
You sound like you have your boundaries set and that to me sounds good.
You have an awesome attitude towards everything. Like Cat said it sounds like you have your boundries set. You know what you will and will not accept. Perfect! It sounds like your husband has a great attitude about it too which is awesome.
It is great that you have set your boundaries. Yiur message for everyone concenred is pretty simply and clear. My former partner stopped drinking, he didnt seek recovery. Most of his sick behaviour persists. Not having the alcohol naymore to numb his feelings he now stuff them and the outcome is terrible. Since May we are separated. I wish you all the best.
Great post and happy to hear that the call went well!
It sounds as if your husband is taking it one day at a time. And that you are taking care of yourself which is awesome. I'm hopiing that all will go well.
Post a Comment