This road sign explains my route around the house today.
Even though there's sobriety in the house doesn't mean there is sanity!! It is also my fault....I have fallen away from my end of the recovery process. I have gotten away from Al-anon and my recovery readings/literature/way of life! Alcohol is just the substance....the disease is here in "all"!
My husband was crazy today and he caught me off guard. I haven't seen this side of him in while. The blame/crazy/paranoia side. I have forgotten how to walk away both physically and in my head. I reacted!! I entered into something I would have handled completely different and more calmly if I had stayed in my program.
I am very similar to an alcoholic that relapses. You forget. You think that everything is ok and you can handle it now. You can't, I can't and I never could. He likes me sick. If I'm sick, his crazy actions/words work. I can see him proud as he walks away, confident that he still has it!! He still has me right where he wants me. Today was a wake up call....
3 comments:
I can relapse every day if I lose my focus. Focus on me and my behavior and let other's have their lives. Great post.
God definitely knows how to get our attention! You have described exactly how we alcoholics relapse too! This is not an overnight process, the journey to recovery, for all of us. It's one day at a time...progress, not perfection.
Ah yes. This can happen so easily and it does! The good thing is that you have your program and you can get back to it! Hugs to you.
Post a Comment