The day is the same.....one minute he's fine the next he's yelling at me. One minute he's hugging me and the next he's cold and isolated and of course I'm trying to figure it out!! As I'm typing this I am realizing that it is much easier to see what "he" is doing rather than what "I" need to do. (Although deep down I am wondering whether he is just placing blame so he can have an excuse to go drink.......I don't think I'll ever get over this!)
One topic he said today as he was yelling was that I'm very independent. That the house revolves around me and my decisions.....etc...etc. Well....of course I'm independent!! Of course our house is "me"! If course the kids know "my rules!"
That was not my choice!! His choice was not to be here!! His choice was to be in a bar...and when he was here he was disconnected. This new life of him starting to feel things is tough! I never even considered this. I guess now I need to make room for him....
As selfish as this sounds....I have been in a 20 year marriage with a ghost...now he came back to life and I need to clear out some drawers!!
2 comments:
Wow, that is tough! He can have his moods, they're his. But, you don't have to participate in his moods, do you. Take a deep breath and let him have his tantrums. IF he wants to drink...heck he'll even blame it on too many houseflys this time of year, you know?
And, now he wants to be involved in decisions...ok....you could bring a lot more to him...as far as needing his input. He's wantin' to part of it all now. He better hang on.....there's been a lot goin' on without him I bet.
Sounds like time for some boundaries to be established. Take care of yourself.
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