Florida

Whenever I'm in a bad place or just need a little bit of serenity I look at these pictures. These are some of my favorite pictures that I took a couple of years ago from our balcony at our beach house. These are my feet! One is at sunrise and one at sundown. This is my place of peace even if its just a vision when I'm home in Arizona.

Alot is going on in Arizona. My daughter is there and even though we are requesting for her not to have friends over and to keep things off of facebook....we have been hearing rumors that it isn't stopping. Now we have to step in and be the "mean" parents!! For now, I am going to stay in Florida....physically, in my mind, and emotionally. I will have to deal with this soon enough...For now I need to stay here.

Florida.....I spend July here and it's the only time I can actually get tired of this place. During the year we come any time the kids have more that 3 days off of school (which is really only 4xyear). The max we can stay is around a week. July is our opportunity to let go and enjoy.....then really crave to go home. I am almost getting there now (although this situation is making me want to stay too!)

July is the only time I can read books on the beach/balcony (read 3 so far). Spend quality family time with no interuptions (My husband is working from here too...so it's really nice!**) Go to the beach and veg......ride bikes, eat ice cream, and most of all...."No schedule!" No Plans!!"***

**When my husband was drinking he came for about 10 days and then we stayed here alone the rest of July. I couldn't wait for him to leave. We spent most of our times in bars. I took those pictures when I was alone...so I could remember how peaceful I felt when the chaos wasn't there. When he went home he would drink so heavy.......(Stories are sad)

Now he isn't drinking. We are walking together, going to dinners, going for ice cream...he is fishing (one of his favorite things to do of all time). He is engaged in "Us" (not just us as me and him....us also as a family....w/o my daughter of course for now....she's causing fireworks in AZ)

I am not trying to brag about above.....It seems like a dream. No way would my husband ever go anywhere with us that he couldn't get a drink/beer. Disney wasn't even an option unless we left him at the hotel or go to Epcot. (They have beer in Epcot.)

(VENTING)
***One of the things I hate about Florida is that I'm from here. My family and friends are here, so everytime we come....they pressure us to drive to "them". Or do something with them. This may seem a bit selfish....but we are on "vacation!" If you want to see us...come to "us".....we are here to be on the "beach!" If you don't want to go to the beach...say "no thank you!" don't make me feel guilty and try and change our plans.....We don't want to make plans....We want to eat when we are hungry, go where we want, do what we want when we want to....That's the whole point of vacation!!!!

(TO BETTER MYSELF)
If there is one thing that would help me to better my self emotionally would be to be able to "not feel the guilt that others put on me". No one else in my house feels it or wants to hear me complain about it(because its "my" family and "my" friends). How can I realize that the guilt is their issues....How can I not let it hurt and ruin my day and make me so extremely angry!!!